MERCHETING: my life confusion.

It has been crazy crazy crazy in our office lately. It has been going on for the last few months, specifically since November last year. It's the nightmare that's being called "U.S. Recession" so it directly caused a scar to the company I'm currently in by a term that is nightmareish than recession called "RETRENCHMENT". I have been ready since March to be called off anytime. The first hit was last November, and the second last May. In summary, from 16 people in our department (the ever popularly hated Merchandising Dept.) it was trimmed down to 5. Most of the people that were let go are the people I was close to. People whom I had yosi breaks with, laughing trips, food trips, and more. SO it really broke my enthusiasm when they left since I had no one to make chika with, or laughing trips with. This resulted to me being sleeeepy everyday that once I even got caught by my boss, in which she apologized quickly for waking me up. HAHA! Then there are those occassional rants of me not wanting to go to work. I'm too bored and sleepy and tired. Don't get me wrong. The "company" is the perfect company anyone could ever have in terms of compensation. Everyday we even have free buffet food, our own nescafe vending machine and a softdrinks dispenser! And the bestof 'em all, DRINKING WATER's FREE!!! Sorry, if it sounds shallow but in my previous job before my current we had to pay for our drinking water and there are even times we experience scarcity which super sucks. So anyway, it's a company that pays good moolah plus perks without too much stress. Until recently. Where every manager's meeting or staff meeting makes us or them "praning" that they might be talking of another round of retrenchment WHICH i would be most willing to volunteer myself to since the sep pay is HUGE (i need it for Sing!).

So fastforward to now, our little department that was Merchandising, was divided. We'd like to believe, DISSOLVED. I was transferred to the Marketing Department and the other half is now called the ST queens (or Sourcing Team Depratment). Segway: It's the only company I know wherein we could come up with our own department and titles! (Since in the US they're more after the salary than the job title as my boss said). So last friday I had a meeting with my new boss. After the meeting, my head was spinning so fast I nearly toppled over (kiddin'). We discussed my new role (which is HUGE!) and our projects. I am super excited..and scared. I think this is the job that will really push my abilities and capabilities to the limit. My goal is to save our website, to increase sales, to analyze, monitor, and convert data to plans and implement them. I am on my own! In my previous jobs I always have someone telling me what to do. They are challenging but I don't always have the last say. This however, will surely test all of my management and marketing skills since the company is in it's make or break stage. And that is besides the fact that I've always wanted to be in a marketing department.

But then, the problem is I've also been applying for jobs in Dubai. That's where my heart is. So with this new event in my career I now find myself in a dilemma. I have a few interviews lined up. What if I get accepted? I've been waiting for a year now for the perfect gateway to dubai. And before my talk with my new boss I've decided to just go for any job there that is likely appealing then just transfer to a better company there after a year or two. So now, I'm confused. I' have to weigh things and choose between: time or more experience or in a bigger lens LOVE or CAREER. So with this I;ve decided to lift everything to God, my plans, life, dreams, and my heart. I'm not in control anymore. I\ve always believed that if something is meant for you, the universe will conspire just to be able to give it to you. And if you don't get something no matter how hard you try it's perfectly normal to feel frustrated or disappointed sometimes. It's human-nature. But never never dwell on the negativity because it will just make you more immobile. In my life, in the future I know God has a plan for me. It may still be vague for now but I know time will reveal (as the song goes). All things good or bad happens for a reason. And the driving force that should be making you smile everyday inspite of the failures or confusion is FAITH. Faith saves.