EXCERPTS from SANTO PAPA's blog

*image from http://santopapa.blogs.friendster.com/usapang_prayle/

..yes the Pope has a blog (and my retard brother's the one behind it). Just sharing what made me laugh so hard this day. For those who'd get offended: Pls. forgive him.

holy thursday isn’t holy at all March 23rd, 2005 by santopapa

oh holy night.. este day… why do people call this holy?… i know why… i do read the bible dumb ass… but this thursday is not that different from any other thursday… the only difference is… its a holiday! i just realized that this thursday is worse than an ordinary thusday. uhm… the tv is useless,there is a certain program set by each station… thank god there is MTV! the radio is also useless… it’s so hot outside… the people are out of town… waaaahhh! all of these things make think that holy is synonymous to boring!

holy thursday :: boring thursday

this day sucks!

the 3 little dots …March 24th, 2005 by santopapa

… the 3 little dots… bow…

am i insane?! why am i writing about the 3 little dots?… wait.. i havn’t written anything yet… waaahhh!!! i am insane!! wtf is happening to me… i’m the pope!i should be writting inspirational texts… ah! what the heck! i’m so damn bored! and so damn high because of my medication! wooohoooo! this sucks… i want to write, but no thoughts are coming out… tsk tsk tsk… i don’t want 2 blame myself, i’ll just blame the medicines that i took! hehe… god damn it! write pope write!!! uhm… what if i fill this post w/ little dots… like these:……………………………………………………………….. now… they are not the three little dots anymore! nyahaha! wait? how about x’s… the three little x’s… uhm… nope! i don’t consider pornography in this blog! i’m the pope! moron! hey.. am i talking to my self?! answer me! yup! i’m talking to myself! blame it to the medicines! i don’t like the feeling of being blamed eh…
reflection on this sermon: when you committ a sin, blame your medication not yourself… if you are not in medication, blame something else!

dear god, please forgive me for blaming my medicines… i know that you know that they are not doin anything wrong… but they are so strong! they make me high! and ahhh never mind! i hate praying! bye god… Amen.

this is the day!!!March 24th, 2005 by santopapa

this is the day…

this is the day when the lord had died… when the lord had died…

we will rejoice… we will rejoice… wait.. wait.. wait..

rejoice?! uhm… walang sabit! d 2lad ng dati q… sa rejoice ay cgurado aq… stop this nonsense!!! today is good friday!… it’s the day for mourning… we should repent, pray, fast, abstain, go to mass, sleep, watch tv, eat lunch, surf the net, blog, bum arround, uhm… that’s all i suppose… but singing walang sabit is prohibited!!! never sing songs sang by a sinner! sandara park is a devil’s advocate! just look at her… she’s so evil, she can’t speak straight filipino and english… don’t be fooled by her.. uhm… not so pretty face! it’s just a mask that covers her true figure! she is just a stick in human form! nyahaha! so… can this be love? nyahahaha! coming soon! (baduy amputa)

ok….. enough with the devil talk… let’s talk about something else… uhm… oh! i remember… i need to prepare explosives pala… i’ll demolish the phisci building next week! how dare them exclude me from the priority list!!! don’t they know that i’m the pope?! ignorant people have no right to wander in my world! ignorance is not excuse!!! i’ll kill them all!!!

doorMarch 26th, 2005 by santopapa

door? why door? oh yeah! i remember…

the door! what’s with the door?… i don’t know… but a door is a door. sometimes it’s open, somtimes it’s closed… w8, we are not that close,, yet you are already reading my blog… damn! uhhh… it’s ok. i’m fine with that because i’m the pope! i’m soooo fucking bored! all because of that stupid door! how stupid of me to write about the door?! i should write about the door knob… oh yeah! the door knob not the door… the door sucks! it’s just a useless piece of junk that covers the doorway when it’s closed. what’s so special with that?! what the fuck?! i’m not making any progress… i have to write! i have to fill this post with texts… sensible or not.. basta! i just have to write! why can’t i write anything about the door?… uhm maybe, the door is closed… damn! it is closed! it’s locked too… now i know why i hate that door! w8… i must pause for a while… i can hear an angel calling my name… i’ll talk with the angel first… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … how odd… i can’t understand his language… maybe he’s not talking to me… maybe he is talking with another pope. not me… forget about the angel… i should be talking about the door… so… the door!

this sucks!

end of message!

am i really dead?April 2nd, 2005 by santopapa

are you sure?…

then why am i typing this post?

i have a confession to make… i see dead people… (really?)

but why?! why did i die?!!!! it isn’t my time yet! holy syet! the holy see is dead! see… i do see dead people! actually, i’m a little sad about my death… i’m a bit frustrated because i don’t want to die this way… this is such a boring death! damn! i want to be fed to the lions! the colosseum is not that far from vatican. and why do i have such stupid assasins! they are always unsuccessful! i’ve been praying for their success, yet their stupidity hinders my death! maybe my swiss guards are too good for them… am i that holy, that only god is worthy to take my life??? uhm… well… i’m very much flattered!

but… but, but i’m dead! god damn it! fuck shit!

well then… see you in hell!

today is my funeral! wooohoooApril 8th, 2005 by santopapa

huhuhu…

aren’t you sad?! cry! i order you to cry! cry for me! cry for me argentina! don’t be shy… go on… i won’t laugh…

fuck shit! my funeral is so boring!!! i’m excited to be buried, but that fucking mass is such a big delay! damn! i hate bald guys that speak latin! they are sooooo lame! fuck them! oh?! i forgot… they are my cardinals! hehehe! sorry guys… it’s ok… i know one of you will be the next pope… hehe! back to the funeral… uhm… i have a theory…

"terrorists are catholics! specifically roman catholics"

yah… you heard it right… you may be wondering how i end up with that theory…

think about this…

* my funeral is so crowded…
* people from different nations are concentrated in one place(st. peter’s square)
* foreign diplomats and world leaders are also concentrated in one place
* church leaders too
* less security

this is a perfect situation for a terrorist attack! damn if were a terrorist leader, i’ll surely take advantage if this situation will happen… but sadly, i ain’t no terrorist! ohhhh… how sad!

but there was no attack! why?…

because the terrorist is a catholic! he has respect for his religion! got the point?!

oh well time to go… see u in hell!

kerengkeng mode…June 27th, 2006 by santopapa

did you miss me?
hhhhhmmmm…
xur you do! i’m a fucking dead man! dumbass!

shit happens… you know…