Drowning Equilibriums: Aisa Ipac - Fashion Stylist, Lifestyle and Travel Blogger

... i wanna cry. Coz I want to remember you in a good light. Kahit na mas madami yung sama ng loob ko instead of the happiness, I want to smile whenever I think of you. Pero, you won't let me. And I'm over and done explaining to other people. I'm quite disppointed din to some of our friends who wants to hear my side. I believe I already explained everything to them even before she came. It's not easy bringing up the past, hindi madali ikwento ulit kung pano ka binaliwala and binasura dati db? And for some people who've been here, this place, they should have known better. And for those who think that plane tickets to somewhere, clothes, or money could bring back love or magic or could offset all the bad feelings, then try being here. Coz I assure you, it is NEVER easy. Yun lng. Pagod nako. So, I'm letting it all go. Sorry for all the mistakes I made. But I'm pretty sure all the things I did for you already paid for that, sobra sobra pa. Cguro it's about time that I value myself more than you. Thank you Lord for the silver lining and for letting me see that I deserve better.

*Thank you Kathy, Vian, Aiza and Lily (and my closest friends who knows the real me) for reassuring me and for picking me up everytime I drown myself in doubts and guilt. For not siding with me when I'm really wrong, and for being brutally honest that sometimes I want to cover my ears so I won't hear you (haha sorry). But most of all, for being there when I can't smile anymore (which is a phenomenon), when I drown myself in rock music and act deaf mute all day, for hearing my rants and raves, for always giving me "un"-sorted opinions and facts and for sacrificing your lungs (except Kathy) when I want to release my anger and frustrations through a pack of Marlboros. And for reminding me over and over that I am enough and I've done enough and I deserve to be happy, FINALLY. Thanks.

**And to YOU, who could just easily tell me to hate her and wage war. But you never did. That's how nice of a person you are.Thanks for opting to act as my friend everytime, even if my rants and sentiments also hurt you. You make me a better person by always reminding me to show respect to others even to those who hurt me and make me doubt myself. And during those times I wanted to do things just to get even, you asked me to stop and not level myself with those who choose to play some sick game of revenge. Whenever I'm tempted to text hurtful words, words of retaliations, you ask me to put my phone down, breathe and just smile. You told me that's not who I am and I am better than that. When I felt so bad because I felt I was betrayed too, when I felt I want to hibernate and not talk about it anymore... you told me to talk to people and explain my side (explain and NOT defend myself), lay down the facts, but still show some respect to the subject, coz you said after all that's someone I loved for a long time, and you're right. Whenever I pull myself down, you bring me right back up. That's who you are, always and forever. And I'll be the dumbest ever, if I let you get away again.